WHAT I LEARNED WHEN PLANNING OUR WEDDING
Hi ya'll! Talking about what I learned and what I really want to share with you about wedding planning!
Are we ever ready for planning a wedding? Some of you, maybe yes! Me? I really thought I was SO ready. I really didn't know what wedding planning was all about until this last year.
Cole proposed to me in August of last year, 2016! We planned our wedding for a year later, August 12, 2017! We had a full year to plan and get ready for our wedding! I really thought a year is what I needed and what we all needed because if we did it any sooner, it would be way too chaotic! Right? Isn't that what most people think!? I had no idea Cole was proposing to me in August. I thought maybe we had about a year or year and a half until we started really thinking about it! Well, of course, you can't control everything and BOOM Cole decided to do it so unexpectedly. Most times you can't control things and that is what I am learning little by little. I'll talk about this topic later in the blog.
God has a plan for each one of us and we really don't have a say in how it goes because He knows what is best. That's hard to understand sometimes!
I'm going to name 10 things I learned while planning our wedding! Here we go!
I really really hope you newly engaged or soon to be engaged ladies really take this in because I think it'll help so much!
1. ) Most importantly, i'll start it off with.. your world should not revolve around the wedding, it should revolve around you and your soon-to-be hubby! When you get engaged, everything starts to just go so so fast! You instantly go straight to your Pinterest board and then you try to go pick out a dress, then the venue, then the napkins and food...and it gets more detailed and more detailed and you start to become consumed with every single thing about the wedding. You're constantly thinking about the wedding. This is completely normal because you are SO excited, but my advice to you is that, don't let is consume you or it'll start to overwhelm you or even suck the joy of what the actual wedding day is all about..you and your spouse. Focus on putting God in the center, the engagement period and you and your loved one. Try and take it all in and embrace the engagement period because like everyone has told you, IT GOES BY SO QUICKLY.
2.) Unexpected emotions are going to happen and it'll be a little overwhelming in a GOOD & BAD way.
What I mean is that nothing really changes when you get that ring on your finger, but you start to experience so many different emotions that you had no idea where coming! At least that is how it was for me. It's feelings of overwhelming LOVE from your friends and family, it's anxiety, it's making life decisions like moving in together or bills to pay or what bridesmaid will I have in my wedding, it's OMG I am growing up and becoming a WIFE. It is all blessings in disguised in so many ways, but it also can feel very overwhelming because you've never planned a wedding. Try and breathe and take each day at a time. It is all going to work out, even you think you don't have control. God has it all. Give it all to Him.
3.) You have to be a little selfish (yes i said selfish!!) Think about it as "self care" rather than selfish.
Funny story, but about 2-3 months before the wedding I had my alterations lady take in my dress and she had a heart-to-heart with me in her house and I'll never forget it. She told me that you've got to stop worrying about others so much because you are sucking yourself dry trying to please everyone. You are tearing yourself up. She said you've got to worry about yourself and your heart and happiness. It's so hard sometimes to think just about yourself and tell people to stick it where the sun don't shine! It's hard to tell people no or tell them that you would rather do this rather than that! It might not be for some people, but for me it was very hard. I always felt like I was stepping on toes or they wouldn't like this or that. It was awful. My alterations lady could tell I was stressing and she said, honey you can't get this way! This day that is coming up for you and Cole is about you two and only you two! Don't let other peoples opinions steal your happiness. It is just ONE day to celebrate you and your spouses love and all the stress and worry is not needed. It isn't about the flowers or the weather or whose there or what color tablecloth to use. It's about you and your husband becoming one and celebrating the two of you. It's supposed to be the happiest day of your life. She was the sweetest lady and she had so much advice to give and I really will never forget it because it was exactly what I needed to hear. Most times, you've got to take care of your self instead of worrying about others because your happiness matters.
4.) One thing I think is so important that I did do on the wedding day (as much as I could) is taking in each sweet moment and really stopping and remembering that moment. Like stopping to see your mom and you hugging her and saying, "thank you mom for everything!" and really stoping to take the time to breathe and take it all in. Saying your vows and walking down the aisle. It's those moments you'll remember for forever.
5.) Pick the wedding dress YOU want! Also, try and do your research and go to a few different wedding salons. Take your time with this! Don't rush and don't let others opinion persuade you another way! Take in your mom and sister's opinion and really listen to everyone but really pick the one YOU love! Little secret, but I picked a dress month one of being engaged and then 2-3 months before the wedding I chose another dress. The dress I reallly wanted in the first place! (I KNOW. I know. So crazy to buy two dresses, but you can resale wedding dresses so many ways nowadays!) Try not to change your mind 2 months before the wedding..trust me it was all happy getting the dress I dreamed of, but it was slightly stressful doing it so late in the game. So, take your time choosing your dress and trust your gut!
6.) Out of town weddings are stressful. I know this because Cole and I did our wedding out of town. We chose the Dripping Springs area and it was so beautiful but communicating to the venue from afar is very difficult. It's totally doable but if you are a very detailed oriented person, you might want to think about doing your wedding in town. Just remember it's not where you get married.
7.) Your fiance has an opinion too. Let your man in on the planning process. It is his wedding too. This one is hard because us girls have been planning our "dream" wedding since we were like 5. But really, let him in on things and do it together! It's a lot more fun that way and you do want him involved don't you? I know in the beginning Cole laid back and let me do some things and then I would get sad and say things like "do you not like this?" or "do you not care??" and it was totally not that, it was just that I would never really ask his opinion I would just assume he would like it! GET YOUR MAN INVOLVED! They don't know what the heck to do! lol
8.) No wedding day is perfect. Don't worry about things going wrong! It's more than likely there will be a few glitches the day of the wedding. You'll look back on it and laugh! Trust me! Example: I really wanted a cathedral veil and I was so excited about it with my dress! But as soon as I walked down the aisle. I turned a slight corner and my veil got hung in the tree. You would've thought that I was devastated, but I was SO ready to get down the aisle I just kept going. & some of my guest actually got pictures of it all happening. It was really funny! I would've never thought that would happen but you just have to roll with it!
9.) Don't let the wedding planning get the best of YOU. Don't let it bring out the ugly in you. Don't let certain people or things get you upset and bitter. Don't worry so much about the wedding details. It's not about the little things. It's about you marrying your best friend and vowing your love to each other. BREATHE and let it go. I can't emphasize on that enough. Just let it go. You don't want to look back on the whole year of planning and think oh my gosh, I was awful and I let the wedding bring out the worse in me. You want to remember this time as a happy time! Planning a wedding with your mom or sister or best friend and cherishing each part of it!
10.) Your mother is always right. Listen to your momma's. They do know best!
I hope ya'll take each part with a grain of salt! I love you guys and hope you enjoyed reading!